Mixing Uwe Boll with cinema is like mixing flatulence with bullhorns. Boll's movies (Bloodrayne, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, and House of the Dead) are abominations - each is nearly impossible to sit through (this coming from a guy who can stomach sitting through the Resident Evil series). Many curse the name of Uwe Boll. This is mostly because of the online population of video game fans (also known as "losers" to normal society). The fans (losers) are offended that their favorite games have been turned into cheap flicks that aren't worth the DVDs they're printed on. I guess the fans (losers) expect video game adaptations to be given the same weight as films based on the works of Jane Austin of Shakespeare. Regardless of the reasons, I do agree with the video games fans (losers) that Boll is a lousy filmmaker. Personally, I don't think he's much worse that many directors (Ben Stiller's constant assault on the world of comedy for example). This said, anytime an arrogant and inept director can be knocked down a peg, I'm game. Here's the deal:During an interview with FearNet.com Boll was told of an online petition to demand he leave the world of filmmaking. At the time of the interview, the petition had over 18,000 names. In response Boll claimed that 18,000 wasn't enough to convince him to leave his chosen field. He did say however that 1,000,000 would be enough to get him to stop making movies.
The petition says:
"We, the undersigned, respectfully ask that Uwe Boll give proper weight to the wishes of the video game community, the horror community, and the film going community in general and stop directing, producing, or taking any part in the creation of feature films. His distasteful handling of the subject matter and lack of acknowledgement of his failures simply cannot be abided any longer.Will the petition get to 1 million names? Would Boll quit even if it did? Who can tell, stranger things have happened. One thing I do know is that If it does get to a million, the petition will have more signatures than Boll has had viewers. C'mon, sign the petition. What was the Internet made for if not mildly cathartic and ultimately meaningless gestures?
Mr. Boll has repeatedly shown a complete lack of comprehension regarding the videogames he has dragged, kicking and screaming, to the silver screen and his ham-fisted approach to horror has soiled future possibilities for anyone else who may attempt to bring videogames to film."
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I love it! He has a doctorate in literature!
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely too funny for words. I've never heard the like! :) I can think of a few others we should petition to leave the film industry. LOL
ReplyDeleteUwe Boll: da haben wir den Salat: in seiner Kindheit drehte schon auf 8 Kamera Filme: was soll denn der Unfug: nichts anderes zu tun: als den Leuten auf die Nerven zu gehen: wir muessen wieder in die Vergangenheit und dort ansetzen: wo der Fehler begann: die Kette ist so stark wie das schwaechste Glied: der Fehler wurde in der Kindheit gemacht: das ist das schwaechste Glied: design, colors: B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n: schaut man sich mit der Kamera von Uwe Boll auch nicht an: ich habe mir einige Filme angeschaut: liegt an der Kamera: Y-o-u-t-h W-i-t-h-o-u-t Y-o-u-t-h: hat natuerlich nicht die Qualitaet wie B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n: an einem Ort wie: UNUTAMDIM: E-m-r-a-h=Unvergesslich: dabei kommt es auf die Kamera an: die Kamera von: UNUTAMDIM: hat nicht die Qualitaet: von B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n: Umbrella: Ain´t No Other Man: design, colors: Qualitaet: waeren alle Filme von Uwe Boll in der Qualitaet von: Gone With The Wind: Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King: ain´t no other man: haette sich auch jeder angeschaut: Kamera: DVD: Poster: der naechste J-a-s-o-n B-o-u-r-n-e und J-o-h-n R-a-m-b-o: ist fuer Uwe Boll: da bin ich gespannt: inweit die sich auch wirklich darum kuemmern: man muss sich darum kuemmern: alle arbeiten sehr hart: und: schaffen tun die es auch: The Secret Garden: waere auch no besser: wenn im Garten Creatures waeren: die nur als Schutz fungieren: zu sehen nur fuer die Zuschauer: diese Creatures aber nicht eingreifen: wuerden die Beteiligten im: Garten: schuetzen: koennen auch den Jungen zum Laufen bringen: auch nur fuer die Zuschauer zu sehen und fuer den Jungen: natuerlich kann man: Benjamin Button: kicken: mit eingebauten Kreaturen.....: die Filme fuer Familien: man darf sich nicht eckeln: tut man sich eckeln: gehen diese Zuschauer verloren: natuerlich braucht auch diese Zuschauer nicht: Wicked Little Things: 30 Days Of Night: ..... : gelangt man mit der Kamera von: Benjamin Button: zum gleichen Ergebnis: 1 Oscar ist ein Punkt von der Academy: aber schwach: Uwe Boll: fuer einen studierten Literaturwissenschaftler: ein Witz: die Buecher muessen auch von Qualitaet sein: Gone With The Wind: Verkauf: genauso wie die Poster: Plakate: Kinoticketverkauf: die Qualitaet der Plakate: damit die DVD´s vermarktet werden: design, colors: ausgeliehen werden: design, colors: geht nur ueber die Qualitaet der Produkte: die Gamefiguren in den Filmen vermeiden: S-E-M-U-M: auch Kombinationen: Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King: ist ein: 11 Oscar Drehbuch: an einigen Stellen erfuellt: B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n: nicht die Voraussetzungen fuer 13 oscars: 13 Punkte ist der Film wert: falls Glueck hat der Film: bis zu 13 Oscars moeglich: aber genuegen tuen auch: 9 Oscars: 10 Oscars: 7 Oscars genug: an einem Punkt werdenn die Filme geknackt immer: mache ich alles: aber die alle kuemmern sich auch darum: einen Oscar bekommt immer einn anderer Film: wenn zum Schluss fuer Benjamin Button 5-7-8-11-12: oscars bleiben: genuegt vollkommen: ich bin der einzige Weltweit: der die Kamera 180 % bekommt: design, colors: 180 %: mein Gehirn ist wie die Festplatte eines Computers: wie ein Computer: innerhalb von Bruchteil von Sekunden sehe ich: welcher Kuenstler fuer welchen Film geeignet ist: keiner bekommt die Kamera so hin wie ich: design, colors: Erreichungen aller Nominierungen kann ich nur schaffen: die es ueberhaupt fuer einen Film gibt: damit die Filme auch angeschaut werden: fuer Jury der Academy ist Qualitaet auch von Bedeutung: die versuchen: die Filme zu retten: da wo es nur geht: kann man sich den Soundtrack nicht anhoeren: der Grammy ist die groesste Auszeichnung: nicht der Oscar: rhythm: ain´t no other man: ist ein grammy rhythm: umbrella: two: come away with me: don´t know why: sunrise: sind alle Grammyprodktionen: instruments: rhythm: Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King: genuegt: damit man sich die Filme ungestoert anschauen: geht nur ueber Qualitaet: dann ist da noch die Aussprache: wenn man mit einem Regisseur gerne zusammen arbeiten moechte: ist Voraussetzung: die Aussprache: America=Americanish: England=English: aber auch in America wird english from England akzeptiert: zur Kommunikation gehoert die Aussprache: zum schreibe ich immer: education: i wasn´t born in america and you know the day has and i said: America Fuck You: Too: worldwide: i can feel you: hope you can feel me like i can feel you: you know what i mean: www. you tube com. de: broadcast yourself, search for: California Love: that´s right: break a down: U Can´t Touch This: don´t think about: nobody can´t touch: fast alle Filme sind wie: Making Of Kamera: das darf nicht sein: die Filme: dich einbischen Qualitaet haben: Kamera: Dvd: Poster: werden auch ausgezeichnet: wie auch: Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King: do it better and enjoy the price: Uwe Boll: fuer die Tuerkei ueber 360 Filme geschrieben: das sind bei einem Oscar pro Kinofilm 360 Oscars: man muss sauber arbeiten: bei jeweils drei oder vier oder fuenf Oscars: 1800 Oscars: auch fuer Indien:.....: Germany: T---a---l---i---s---m---a---n: A-m--i---t-a-b--h B---a-c--h-c---h-a--n:......: die alle arbeiten sehr hart: 65 % + 45 %:.....: pro gemachten Kinofilm bekomme ich 1 % von Uwe Boll und da gibt es noch die: fuenf + one + four and afer that seven + three + four: one and three: 10 % and: fouer jeweils 1 %: fuenf Teile hat jeder Film: geht in fuenf Jahren: jedes Jahr einen Teil: man kann aber auch immer 1 % one 10 % und von four 1 %: geht auch: die Filme an Orten wie: UNUTAMADIM: geht ganz einfach: kostet nicht viel: guenstig: und in Qualitaet/// Respect: The Secret Garden///: gefaellt bestimmt: Uwe Boll: waere besser gewesen: B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n: und erwaehnt: Der seltsame Fall: Poster:.....: wie: title: Half Light: The Long Kiss Goodnight: B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n: un Werbung darauf aufmerksam gemacht: Der seltsame Fall: Poster auch: do what you like but do it right: there are only one life: there is nothing to lose !
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ReplyDelete...and the translation from Babelfish says:
ReplyDeleteUwe barked: there have we the salad: in its childhood turned already to 8 cameras films: what should then the nonsense: nothing other to do: as the people on the nerves to go: we must again into the past and there prepare: where the mistake began: the chain is as strong as the weakest limb: the mistake was made in the childhood: that is the weakest limb: design, colors: B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n: one looks at barked with the camera of Uwe also not: I looked at some films: lies at the camera: Y-o-u-t-h W-i-t-h-o-u-t Y-o-u-t-h: the quality such as B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n has not naturally: at a place such as: UNUTAMDIM: E-m-r-a-h=Unvergesslich: at the same time it arrives on the camera: the camera of: UNUTAMDIM: the quality has not: of B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n: Umbrella: Ain´t No Other one: design, colors: Quality: all films of Uwe would be barked in the quality of: Gone With The wind: Lord of The ring: The Return of The King: ain´t no other one: also everyone would have looked at: Camera: DVD: Postal service: the next J-a-s-o-n B-o-u-r-n-e and J-o-h-n R-a-m-b-o: is for Uwe barked: there I am strained: inweit that myself also really therefore worry: one must be concerned therefore: everyone work very hard: and: do create that it also: The Secret corps: also no would be better: if in the garden Creatures were: That only as a protection function: to see only for the spectators: these Creatures however do not interfere: the participants in that would become: Garden: protect: can also the boy for running bring: also only for the spectators to see and for the boy: one naturally can: Benjamin Button: kicken: with incorporated creature. ....: the films for families: one eckeln may not itself: one does himself eckeln: these spectators get lost: naturally does not need also these spectators: Wicked Little Things: 30 Days of Night: .... : One arrives with the camera of: Benjamin Button: to the same result: 1 Oscar is a point of the Academy: but weakly: Uwe barked: for a studied literary critic: a joke: the books must be also of quality: Gone With The wind: Sale: just as the postal service: Placards: Movie theater ticket sale: the quality of the placards: therewith the DVD´s marketed become: design, colors: loaned become: design, colors: goes only over the quality of the products: avoid the Gamefiguren in the films: S-E-M-U-M: also combinations: Lord of The ring: The Return of The King: is on: 11 Oscar scripts: at some places fulfills: B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n B-u-t-t-o-n: not the prerequisites for 13 oscars: The film is 13 points valued: if good fortune the film has: up to 13 Oscars possible: but suffice doing also: 9 Oscars: 10 Oscars: 7 Oscars enough: at a point werdenn the films cracked always: I make all: but that everyone are concerned also therefore: an Oscar gets always einn other film: if to the end for Benjamin Button 5-7-8-11-12: oscars remain: suffices perfectly: I am that only worldwide: that the camera 180% gets: design, colors: 180% : my brain is like the hard disk of a computer: like a computer: within fraction of seconds, I see: which artist for which film suited is: none gets the camera so there like I: design, colors: Can I : that it generally gives: therewith also looked at become: is quality : that try: : there where it : can one : is : not : rhythm: ´one: is : umbrella: two: : Served´t know why: sunrise: all Grammyprodktionen are: instrument: rhythm: Lord of The ring: The Return of The King: suffices: therewith one the films undisturbed look at: goes only over quality: then yet the pronunciation is there: if one would like to work with a director gladly together: prerequisite is: the pronunciation: America = Americanish: England = English: but also in America, english from England is accepted: to the communication belongs the pronunciation: to that, I write always: education: i wasn´t born in America and you know the day has and i said: America fucked You: Too: worldwide: i can feel you: hope you can feel me like i can feel you: you know what i mean: www. you tube com. de: broadcast yourself, search for: California Love: that´s right: break a down: U Can´t Touch This: don´t think about: nobody can´t touch: fast all films are how: Making OF camera: that may not be: the films: you einbischen quality have: Camera: DVD: Poster: are also distinguished: like also: Lord OF The of ring: The Return OF The King: DO it better and enjoy the price: Uwe Boll: for Turkey over 360 films written: those are with a OSCAR per motion picture film those are with a OSCAR per motion picture film 360 Oscars: one must operate cleanly: with in each case three or four or five Oscars: 1800 Oscars: also for India: ….: Germany: T--A--l--i--s--m--A--n: To--i--t-a-b--h B--AC--HC--hectar--n: ......: all this operate very hard: 65% 45%: ….: per made motion picture film I get + one + four and after that seven + three + four: one and three: 10 % and: more fouer in each case 1%: each film has five sections: goes in five years: each year a section: in addition, one can do always 1% one 10% and of four 1%: goes also: the films at places how: UNUTAMADIM: goes completely simply: much does not cost: favorably: and in quality Respect: The Secret guards: pleases certainly: Uwe Boell: would have been better: . B. - u-t-t-o-n: and mentions: The strange case: Poster: ….: how: Light helped: The Long Kiss Goodnight: . B. - u-t-t-o-n: un advertisement on it attentively made: The strange case: Poster also: do what you like but do it right: there are only one life: there is nothing to lose !