• Theo Van Gogh

    May 6th (2004)

    Before being murdered for the crime of insulting the “religion of peace”, Theo Van Gogh proved he was a growing voice defending the West.  R.I.P. 

  • Ben Affleck Anna Kendrick The Accountant

    The Accountant (2016)

    Ben Affleck stars as a beefcake, autistic accountant who specializes in closing the books and shooting people dead in the face… because… Hollywood, that’s why. 

  • The Book of Eli Denzel Washington

    The Book of Eli (2010)

    Like been given a well-wrapped present only to open it to discover it is socks or a gift card to Olive Garden, this film fails to meet its early promises.

  • No Country For Old Men

    No Country for Old Men (2007)

    Two master filmmakers working at the height of their skills, fronting a cast who perfectly nails each of their roles.  What more could you want?

  • Obey Hollywood Sign

    Hollywood Doesn’t Have a Liberal Agenda? We’re Talking About the Same Hollywood, Right?

    LA Times critic Mary McNamara boldly announces that water is no longer wet all the while peeing down your leg and telling you it’s rain.

May 6th (2004)

Theo Van Gogh

Before being murdered for the crime of insulting the “religion of peace”, Theo Van Gogh proved he was a growing voice defending the West.  R.I.P. 

06/05 Theo Van Gogh movie posterShould I see it?

Director: Theo van Gogh

Writers: Theo van Gogh and Tomas Ross

Starring: Thijs Römer, Tara Elders and Cahit Ölmez

Not Rated

Dutch filmmaker and journalist Theo Van Gogh (great-grandson of Theo van Gogh, the brother of Vincent van Gogh) was a vocal critic of Islam and its subjugation of women.  His criticism most notably took the form of a 10-minute short film titled Submission (the translation of “Islam”) in 2004.  The film presented nude women with Quranic texts written on their skin in henna tattoos.  Completely out of character with his belief system and its history, a Muslim overreacted.

On November 2nd, 2004 amateur film critic, Mohammed Bouyeri, a practitioner of the modern and intellectually rigorous “religion of peace”, shot director Theo Van Gogh eight times.  Bouyeri proceeded to nearly decapitate Van Gogh and then embedded two knives in the dead man’s chest.

Van Gogh’s last film, 06/05 fictionalizes the assassination of Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn and places it within the context of a murder mystery. Fortuyn was a former communist politician who took a stridently anti-Mulsim immigration stance.  For his opinions, Fortuyn was assassinated by environmental radical Volkert van der Graaf, who took exception to Fortuyn’s views that the “religion of peace” may not be as peaceful as everybody wants.

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The Accountant (2016)

Ben Affleck Anna Kendrick The Accountant

Ben Affleck stars as a beefcake, autistic accountant who specializes in closing the books and shooting people dead in the face… because… Hollywood, that’s why. 

The Accountant Movie PosterShould I see it?
Yes, if you have patience and low expectations.

Director: Gavin O’Connor

Writer: Bill Dubuque

Starring: Ben Affleck, Anna Kendrick, J.K. Simmons, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, Jon Bernthal and John Lithgow

Rated R for violence and language

Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck) is an autistic accountant who serves the international criminal class.  While working a freelance forensic accounting gig, he uncovers massive financial hijinks.  This, of course, leads to accusations, chases and people shooting other people in the face.  No worry, Christian isn’t just an autistic accountant, he is also an expertly trained assassin/sniper.

You read that last sentence correctly.

If that seems stupid to you, this is because it is indeed stupid, deeply stupid.  Director Gavin O’Connor manages to slide this silliness past the audience by framing the autism much in the same way Ron Howard sold paranoid schizophrenia in A Beautiful Mind.  The disability is presented very intently as an ultimate good for the hero that propels him to great things.  Unlike A Beautiful Mind, the negative impacts of the disability never come to haunt Christian.  Yes, he is isolated and needs order, but there is no consequence when these tenets of his life are violated numerous times.

Ben Affleck The AccountantGiven this is a movie, selling the idea of an autistic becoming a world-class accountant isn’t a tall order.  Trained killer?  That takes some doing. Christian and his brother are raised in ancient Spartan conditions by their psychotic father.   Christian’s father refuses to allow Christian to give into his disability, believing that it will make him weak.  Instead, he forces his son to be confronted with the constant stimuli that normally would increase his autism.  This all reeks of an origin story for a superhero rather than a humble accountant.  By the time the final acts rolls around, it is clear that indeed you may as well be watching a superhero film.

Ultimately, there is little difference between this film and Affleck’s first superhero film Daredevil, about a blind lawyer/superhero/trained assassin.  Both heroes overcome and control their disabilities while sporting inhuman fighting abilities and battling daddy issues.  The largest difference is that The Accountant wants you to take it seriously.  Unfortunately, by the time Christian single-handedly takes out nearly a dozen, presumably former special forces, bodyguards, seriousness has flown the coop.

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Today’s Two Minutes Hate

A bunch of actors singing I Will Survive because Donald J Trump is about to inaugurated as POTUS. I’m certain you will be just fine holed up in your mansion with your millions and assistants.

A few years ago, this would have been almost cute. Now, it is obnoxious. It still hasn’t sunk into these people’s heads that as a whole, they’re not that special anymore. They’re little more than well-spoken whores who can do circus tricks.

Speaking on behalf of flyover country: Entertainers, please understand, we’ve heard what you have to say about us, we’ve seen how you look down on us so unless you’re acting, dancing, singing or writing…


PS: Emma, it’s called conditioner, look into it.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (1990)

Gary Oldman Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

This film does a good job of proving that some great stage plays are on the stage for a reason.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern PosterShould I see it?
If it is your kind of thing, yes.

Director/Writer: Tom Stoppard

Starring: Gary Oldman, Tim Roth, Richard Dreyfuss and Iain Glen

Rated PG for nudity

Be warned: I have an affection for this film that clouds my opinion.  It was released when I was discovering the original play as a young theater student and writer.  In other words, I have a personal history with the play and film and it clouds my judgment.  I will do my best to keep my opinion level.

Tom Stoppard’s film adaptation of his classic stage play is a mixed affair.  The genuine humor and clever dialog are fun and the staging is impressive.  In turn, the pacing is consistently off and leads to an offputting, distant tone.

One of the biggest drawbacks for the audience is if you are not familiar with Shakespeare’s Hamlet. The uninitiated won’t be completely lost, but they may not get many of the references.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead HangngRosencrantz and Guildenstern are minor characters in Hamlet.  They are childhood friends of the prince and are sent with Hamlet to England.  The duo is charged to deliver a sealed note they have been directed to give to the King upon their arrival.  The note demands the King executes Hamlet upon opening.  During the trip, Hamlet switches the note with one that tells the King to kill the pair instead.  For over four hundred years, these hapless souls have been getting killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Stoppard’s version of the story places these minor characters in the spotlight and shoves Hamlet to the bottom of the cast list.  In the film, the pair are symbols of existential doom who ponder on the meaning of life, the order of the universe and the use of art.  After that last sentence, it should go without saying, this is a rather talky film.

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The Book of Eli (2010)

The Book of Eli Denzel Washington

It’s like opening a well-wrapped present only to discover it’s socks or a gift card to Olive Garden, this fails to meet its early promises.

book_of_eli_ver2Should I see it?
Sure.  But keep your expectations in check.

Director: The Hughes Brothers

Writer: Gary Whitta

Starring:  Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis, Ray Stevenson, Jennifer Beals, Tom Waits and Michael Gambon

Rated R for violence and language

Eli (Denzel Washington) is a lone drifter traveling through the barren, waterless concrete dustbowl of post-war America on an apparent mission from God. Along with his custom-made machete and Oakley sunglasses, he carries the only remaining Bible in the whole world.  Which is fitting since, from the looks of the cast, he is also the only remaining black man in America as well.

Eli arrives at an isolated town run by the small time despot Carnegie (Gary Oldman). Carnegie has been sending his biker bandits on missions to collect books from across the surrounding wasteland. Carnegie is a budding fascist and understands that if he can find a copy of the Bible, the Word of God, he will have the key to gaining tighter control on the minds and souls of the population, thus affording him a path to greater glory.

Eli strolls into town. His Bible is found out and he refuses to hand it over.  Hollywood violence ensues in short order.

This is a solid premise and the story’s central conflict is well supported by a compelling protagonist and antagonist (Eli and Carnegie, respectfully). There is no reason why this shouldn’t be a fun, notable film. Remarkably, even with an engaging conflict and a (mostly) talented cast, this film ends up missing the mark.

There is an old adage for police that you don’t pull out your gun unless you’re going to use it. The same can be said for faith in film. If you broach the sensitive subject of religion you had better be willing to a have a conclusion one way or the other. Any story that pulls in religious imagery or text and then balks at remaining firm through to the end will ring hollow – just like this film does. I discuss this further in the Worldview section of this review below.

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